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Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:02:15 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Et jamaa kawekwa jela kwa kosa la kupoteza mamiilion.ya kampun akiwa gerezan babayake alituma barua Ikisema yan.mwanangu tumapata shida maana shamba halijalimwa na jatujii litalimwaje na msimu ndio huo nataman.ungekuwepo ningepata msaada wa kulimiwa hili shamba
Yule kijana alijibu tafadhal baba usilime hilo shamba maana pesa zote nilizo ibwa nimeficha.huko
Kwakuwa barua zote laxima zipite kwa mkuu wa gereza ndio xiende kwa muhusika kesho yake mzee alikuwa shamba lote limelimwaa na polisi
Akatuma ujumbe tena yule kijana Nashukulu umepata msaada sasa nazan unaweza ukaendelea kupanda mazao shamban.kwetu😂😂😂😂😂
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:59:16 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Huwa naenjoy sana kusoma yaliyoandikwa nyuma ya daladala hasa ninapokuwa kwenye foleni. Misemo maarufu ya kwenye daladala.
1.Yatima hadeki 2.Utamu wa chips mimba 3.Ukitaka kujua ugumu wa kudai kopesha ukweni 4. Usiyempenda kaja 5. Kobe hapimwi joto 6. Acha kazi uone kaz kupata kaz 7. Ukichezea koki utalowa 8. Heshima pesa kipara kovu tu! 9. Mtumbwi hauna saitmira. 9. Silaha pesa bastola mzigo 10. Hata uoge mjini huendi 11. Chezea mshahara usichezee kazi. 12. Ukiona manyoya ujue kishaliwa 13. Ikisimama Panda 14. Pombe pombe tuu kunywea bar mbwebwe 15. Njia ya chooni haioti nyasi 16. Likizo ya maskini ugonjwa 17. When i grow up i want to be a scania 18. Hata bibi alikuwa binti 19. Kisigino hakikai mbele 20. Kama mapenz pesa kaolewe na benki 21. Hata barabara ina matuta lakin huwez panda viazi 22. Mavi hayana miba lakin ukikanyaga lazma uchechemee 23. Paka haishi kwa msela 24. Ukipendwa ujue kuna boya kaachwa 25. NIPO NIPO KWANZA 26. Mchana nzi ucku mbu 27. Ucmshangae funza kukata viuno ndio mwendo wake 28. Kama umelipenda(gari) bonyeza nyota liwe lako 29. Supermarket hawauzi mkaa 30. We nisubiri mi nakungoja. 31. Zetu dagaa kuku tamaa 32. Hata uwe na heshima vipi huwezi kumpokea askari bunduki H 😆😆😆😆😜😜😜😝😝😝
Alichofanya mke baada ya mme wake kupenda kumchunga sana
Alifanya hivi; Siku ya kwanza
MUME: Halooo vipi mke wangu salama weye?. MKE: Salama tu MUME: Uko wapi? MKE: Jamani si niko nyumbani MUME: Mhh kama kweli uko nyumbani washa blender nisikie…..mke akawasha blender MKE: Umesikia? MUME: Okay haya mi natoka kazini naja
Updated at: 2023-04-29 22:53:52 (2 years ago by Melkisedeck Leon Shine)
Alifanya hivi; Siku ya kwanza
MUME: Halooo vipi mke wangu salama weye?. MKE: Salama tu MUME: Uko wapi? MKE: Jamani si niko nyumbani MUME: Mhh kama kweli uko nyumbani washa blender nisikie…..mke akawasha blender MKE: Umesikia? MUME: Okay haya mi natoka kazini naja
Siku ya pili MUME: Vipi mko salama huko? MKE: Tupo kama ulivyotuacha MUME: kwani uko wapi? MKE: Niko nyumbani napika MUME: Washa brender kama kweli uko nyumbani Mke akawasha blender MKE: Umesikia? MUME: Poa ntarudi baada ya masaa mawili
Siku sita baadae mume akaamua kurudi bila kumtaarifu mkewe alipofika home kamkuta mdada wa kazi yuko peke yake. MUME: We mama yako yuko wapi? MDADA: Sijui ameondoka na blender toka asubuhi
Huyu mtoto kaongea point kweli, angalia anachomwambia baba yake
Mtoto alimwuuliza baba yake, Mtoto: Baba unaweza kumwachia hilo gari lako house boy/girl akaliendesha? Baba: siwezi kumwachia gari langu hili aliendeshe ni ghali sana. Mtoto: je mnaweza kumwachia chumba chenu house boy/girl kikiwa wazi na mkaenda kazini? Baba: haiwezekani kamwe kuna vitu vya gharama na pia heshima haitakuwepo.
Updated at: 2024-05-25 18:07:37 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Mtoto alimwuuliza baba yake, Mtoto: Baba unaweza kumwachia hilo gari lako house boy/girl akaliendesha? Baba: siwezi kumwachia gari langu hili aliendeshe ni ghali sana. Mtoto: je mnaweza kumwachia chumba chenu house boy/girl kikiwa wazi na mkaenda kazini? Baba: haiwezekani kamwe kuna vitu vya gharama na pia heshima haitakuwepo.
Mtoto: unaweza ukampa house boy/girl ATM CARD yako na namba ya siri ukakuchulie pesa?
Baba: mtoto unatafuta balaa sasa, unataka siku akiiba hii card akachukue pesa zote tuwe maskini, sithubutu.
Mtoto: aahaaaaaa, kumbe hauwezi kumkabidhi chochote chenye thamani house boy/ girl, sasa kwa nini mnanikabidhi mimi kwa house boy/girl na nyie mnaenda kazini mpaka mnarudi kumbe mimi sina thamani kwenu eeeeh!
Huu ndio mlolongo wa michepuko kuwahi kutokea kati ya mke, mume mwanafunzi na boss
BOSS anamwambia sekretari wake: Wiki hii tutaenda wote Serena Hotel kwenye mkutano fanya mipango yote.
SEKRETARI (anamuaga mumewe): Tunaenda na bosi Serena hotel kwenye mkutano for 1 week.
MUME (anampigia mpango wa kando): Mambo safi, wife anaenda kikazi Serena, jitayarishe tujipe raha for 1 week
(Mpango wa kando) anamwambia mwanafunzi wake wa tution: wiki hii nina kazi fulani hakuna tution mpaka week ijayo.
Updated at: 2023-04-29 22:53:20 (2 years ago by Melkisedeck Leon Shine)
BOSS anamwambia sekretari wake: Wiki hii tutaenda wote Serena Hotel kwenye mkutano fanya mipango yote. SEKRETARI (anamuaga mumewe): Tunaenda na bosi Serena hotel kwenye mkutano for 1 week. MUME (anampigia mpango wa kando): Mambo safi, wife anaenda kikazi Serena, jitayarishe tujipe raha for 1 week (Mpango wa kando) anamwambia mwanafunzi wake wa tution: wiki hii nina kazi fulani hakuna tution mpaka week ijayo. MWANAFUNZI anampigia simu sugar daddy wake ambaye ndo (BOSS): Dear hakuna tution wiki hii nakuja kwako…..
BOSS anamwambia sekretari wake: Siendi Serena tena coz mjukuu wangu atanitembelea. SEKRETARI: Mume wangu hatuendi Serena MUME (anampigia Mpango): dah! mpenzi, huyu mke wangu haendi tena. Shit! So hadi next time plz Mpango wa kando a.k.a teacher (anampigia mwanafunzi): Darasa kama kawaida sorry for the earlier message. MWANAFUNZI: darling tution inaendelea kumbe, so nakuja wiki ijayo!! BOSS: Sekretari sorry jitayarishe ile safari ya Serena iko palepale……
Kilichompata huyu jamaa akiwa anaangalia mpira mechi kali na mke wake
WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown??
HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott
WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?
Updated at: 2023-04-29 22:53:18 (2 years ago by Melkisedeck Leon Shine)
WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown?? HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?
HUSBAND: ile ni ya Onyo, na Red Card inamaanisha mchezaji awache kucheza na atoke inje ya uwanja. WIFE: Oooooh! Inakaa kama traffic light! Yellow- Ilani na Red - Simama HUSBAND: Yeah yeah swity! Ndio hivyo. WIFE: Na je Green Card?? HUSBAND: Aaaah! Hakuna kitu kama hicho.
WIFE: Nataka Arsenal ishinde world cup. HUSBAND: [kimya] WIFE: Ni nani yule mzee anakaa kama Mr. Bean?? HUSBAND: Yeees swity, yule ni kocha wa Arsenal, anaitwa Arsene Wenger. WIFE: Oooooh! inamaanisha yule kocha mwengine ni Chelsea Wenger?? HUSBAND: [Kabadilisha channel]
